The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
