That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
