And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
