Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
