If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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