sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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