Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think i have two assholes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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