Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
