please come you make the beer taste better
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
