Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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