Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
