Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
