I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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