I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
