3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
