is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
