i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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