Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
