I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
