No awkward lesbian experiences without me
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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