I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
