he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
