just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
