I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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