We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
