just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
