how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
