babies were throwing up all over the place
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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