It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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