I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
