I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
