this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
