I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
