Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize