Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He? As in you personified your dick?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
