Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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