I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
