Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
