We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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