I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
