i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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