Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
