she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
