just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
