fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
