Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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