I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
