She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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