guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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