they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
