This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
